a name spelling change and a mommy OVERWHELMED!

First off I want to say that I changed the spelling of Lili's name. It was brought to my attention the way I spelled lili was pronounced "leelee" so yeah... Plus I wasn't sure if I like the way it looked anyway. So the good news was that we didn't fill out the birth certificate fully so they called and I changed the spelling to Lilly. It looks better to be and now she isn't lee lee... :) So... two babies under the age of a year has been a tough tough life-style change thus far. I AM OVERWHELMED. Emma has always been a very very fussy baby and very demanding with me and my time. Lilly has been a very different baby. She is very mild tempered thus far. But I swear after 5 pm things go crazy and they both like to cry. lol. I love my babies so much!!!! I know it will get easier and easier. I can't wait for that moment. I am tired and overwhelmed. Thank goodness for Noah. He was been a great help. Emma adores her brother and gets so excited to see him. He plays with her and makes her laugh so its a really fun thing to watch. And he loves his new little sister too. He gets so excited to look at her. He is pretty darn cute! I love being a mom. Its the hardest job but the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I can't imagine my life without my kids. I am trying so hard to be the best mom ever to these kids. They deserve the very best. So the feeling of being overwhelmed and tired and what ever emotion I feel right now is worth every second. These kids make me, me. I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Lilly has been doing great. She came home from the hospital on Sunday, she spent 5 days in the NICU. She has already gained back her birth weight plus 4 ozs as of Tuesday. :) The nurses say that it takes some babies up to two weeks to gain back their birth weight. and Lilly it took a week and she was up more! So proud. :) I hate having a sick baby but so far she is healthy and everything is normal! YAY! Thats it from this crazy house!!!

Cutie is here!!!! ;) Welcome Lili Alice Stoddard!

Life doesn't always go as planned, Right??? Well it certainly didn't this week for me or Cutie. Well Tuesday was just another day in my eyes. I was at home hanging out with Emma. I called my doctor at about 8:30 am to ask to swith my inducement date for Wednesday instead of Friday bc it was easier for babysitters and my husband's job. Well about noon me and em were eating our lunch and I started feeling yuck. I started having pains in my tummy. I wasn't so sure what they were... But by 130 I was having constant contractions and told my mom and stacey that I think that I was in labor. My sister took my to the hospital. Well.. I was at a 7 almost 8. WOW! I was in labor!!!!!!! And It was all fast after that... I had Cutie at 520 pm with one push!!!!. She had pooped inside so she was just covered in yucky poop. I felt so bad for her. She was also pretty purple. I got to hold her for a few moments before they took me to get my tubal done. I didn't realize she was going to be so sick. After I was recovering from my surgery they came in and told me that she wasn't breathing well and it could have been from the poop and me taking zoloft during pregnancy and she was staying in the NICU. I was just so sad. I felt like I did something wrong while taking the meds I did while I was pregnant. I feel so gulity! ;( She is doing okay now and feeling better. She is off oxygen and is now bottle feeding. She will have to stay in the NICU for a few more days until she can eat and her heart valve will close. We will see more tonight with her lab results coming in at about 8 pm. I am excited to get her home and super scared to have two babies. eeek. We named her Lili Alice and she is beautiful. She has blondish brown hair and she is super smaller then I thought she would be. She weighed in at 6lbs 04 ozs and 19 1/4 inch. She is so cute!!!!! :) Noah is excited about being a new brother but is sad bc he hasn't seen her yet. And he is ready to hold her. Miss Em is now teething and is grumpy. She has no idea her life has changed yet. lol... I am going day by day. But I just in love with all these kids. Its so strange how much love you share with someone you just meet. AWWWWWWW... I love being a mom and I am ready to see this new wild side of mom.

The end is in sight. Here is 39 weeks!

Okay, So I am slightly freaking out now.. I know it sounds strange because I have wanted this baby out forever now but now that the time is almost here I am scared out of my mind. I can't believe the end result is only days away... DAYS! So strange so strange. I went to the doctor yesterday morning for a weekly checkup. Well... Its been a very long few weeks. I have been kinda difficult. I have had sickness like the flu. I have been also in painful due back achs and the baby is pinching my nerve making half of my hip has been painful. And I have also been every emotional. So basically I am waiving my white flag. I AM DONE. lol.. Its been a 2 long emotional years. So the end of this story means that the doctor said if I don't have Cutie this week, Friday the 28th is the day I will go in to be induced. She had orginally said Monday the 24th but I am so not ready then. (Which is weird) But I need some more time with Noah and Emma alone. I feel like I am going to be so crazy that I will feel bad not being able to spend the time I do now with them. Which is hard as it is. So I have like a week. A WEEK! Then I will be done being pregnant forever. I am excited for my family to be complete and start working hard on being a good mom to three kids and then I will work on myself. I am normally a very happy person well I try to be. I try to be very postitive about life and everything. But, after giving birth to Emma I had very fast depression and I don't think I have yet recovered. So, I am scared that I will be very depressed again. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! But, I know that it's been a rollarcoaster for the past 2 years. Life has been Crazy!!! But I know that its going to be okay. I am a woman and a mother, I have to be strong for these kids no matter what happens to me. I am just ready to start getting my emotions in order and to get me back. I will be a better mother and just a person when I do. I love being a mom and I am truly excited to be a mom again. Sure, I am scared out of my mind not only just to have 3 kids but to have 2 babies that are 10.5 months apart. But, I am excited to meet my new baby and blend my family. ;) More details about Cutie coming soon. And more details about Noah and Emma handling miss cutie as well.. .Thanks for reading! Wish me luck!!!

37.5 weeks, 10 months, and a Second grader

I am officially 37.5 weeks along with Cutie. And I still haven't decided on a name. Stacey thinks that Madison is the name... I am not so sure. Why is this so hard???? Noah and Emma were a peice of cak. But, Cutie is Cutie, Ya know? But how could I do that to a child!?! lol.. We will see when she will get here what her name will be. Pregnancy is slowing down and I am feeling all the loveliness of being full term and everything wrapped up in that. 2 years of being pregnant is killing me. I am seriously counting down the days. But It is a bittersweet experience because I love my babies and I really don't mind being pregnant. I love feeling the baby move and feeling all the first feelings when you are pregnant. But I am tired, swollen, hormonal, and fat. It is time to be done! Plus getting a very cute baby instead is always worth it. Today, I have been cleaning and organizing my room in hopes of getting ready for Cutie's arrival. I am still freaking out about having 2 little babies at the same time but I feel like I am needing to prepare! lol... My hospital bag is almost complete and only a few more times need to be added. I have everything I need really, which is nice. And I even set up Cutie's bed today. YIKES!!!! But 2.5 weeks more and then she will be here. I better get ready now!!!!! I am still working away trying not too get bored. I have lots of do and get miss Emma on a better schedule. But I like staying busy it really is making the time go faster! Emma decided to turn 10 months on Sept 10th. WHAT!?! Everyday I swear she is getting bigger and bigger. I can't believe she was a small little tiny thing only a few months ago. Which is sad. Babies grow up too fast!!!! Emma loves dancing!she is so cute!!!!! It doesn't matter what the song is she is moving shaking her booty! It makes everyone laugh even her! She is also clapping and waving. CAN YOU HEAR ME SHE IS ADORABLE!!!!! She also makes the cutest snorting noises when she is excited. ;) She is remaining toothless still which is sad, but I swear she is teething at the moment! She is so so so cute!!!!!!! Noah decided to start 2nd grade on Sept 4th. HE IS TOO BIG!!!! Talk about babies growing up too fast!!!!! His teacher this year is Ms Lindsey. She seems really great so far but its only the second week. But you have to be pretty good if you are teaching little kids. Noah is loving being back at school and with his friends. And I actually enjoy doing homework with him. He doesn't particularly like it with me. But, he can't change that so he better deal right!?! He is enjoying watching new tv shows and playing video games. Which I am trying to limit. (he is doing great with the limitations and has hardly complained (:) He loves the color blue and Boise State Broncos football. He is loving playing outside still and he can't wait for the snow. Silly Kid. He is just so big I don't know what to do with him. But I love my first baby and he is the best brother ever!!!!!!! Well that is it for now! I will let you know when miss Cutie makes her appearance. Hopefully she will be a few. I am not really ready for 2 babies. lol.

Hunger Games and ME being ME very boring blog post

I read the Hunger Game series right after I had miss Emma in Novemember. It took me forever to decide to read the books becausemy sister said the ending was terrible. Well, After being so obsessed with Twilight and being very disappointed in the ending of the last book I told myself no reading that series. But, Being up every couple of hours and getting sick of watching tv, I started to read them. Well Lets just say I fell in LOVE! OMW! I get very sucked into books with a little romance and some action. Obviously. I read all the books within a few days. My sister was telling me as I was excitingly telling her about my thoughts and feelings on the books that they were making a movie. WHAT?!?!?!? I WAS SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well March came and the opening of the movie was there. EEEECK! I was planning on going to the midnight release with my friends (naturally). But I had a break down and I decided not to leave the baby who was up a few times during the night still. So I was so sad not being able to go. I tried to watch it again and again but I still didn't have the chance. Until yesterday. YAY FOR DVD! Well... I liked the movie I did. But nothing like the series. (DUH?!?) I bet its so hard to make a book into a movie with people like me watching closly to make sure you make it right. But I am glad after months of waiting I finally got to see it! Thank you Stace for buying it for me!!!!!!! :) Well I am a little over 34 weeks pregnant. I have a little less then 6 weeks until I have Cutie is here. I am starting really really really freaking out. Emma is still being a momma's girl and wont let many people hold her without reaching out for me. I feel like I can't go anywhere. And what will happen when I am taking care of of Cutie??? I am now starting to get really emotional about not having the time Emma wants me to have with her. Not to mention Noah. He is used to my 100% time 24/7. My mother says that it will all work out. But, She should seriously shut off my brain sometimes because she might say those words but my brain isn't listening to her. Emma is starting to stand up on furniture and crawl super fast towards plants and doors. Its pretty cute to watch her crawl after people too. She just wants to be a part of the action. :) Noah is all set to go to school. I have bought the clothes, supplies, and now shoes. We now wait 2 more weeks until the big day. He is so ready to go back and see his friends. Which I don't blame him. School is exciting and fun especially to a 2nd grader! I can't wait to see him suceed!!!!!!!!!! Well that is me just talking... I know I know a little boring but that is me!!!!!! :)

almost 32 weeks, almost 9 months, and a 7 year old

What a summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love summer. Its always so nice to see family more often and enjoying the weather but ITS BEEN SO HOT! I am not sure if its only me being massive and pregnant but some days all I want to do is stand in a freezer. lol. Here is what is happening... Okay I am now almost 32 weeks along with Cutie. That is right 8.5 weeks more until I am holding my newest baby. I am totally excited and totally freaking out! I am soooooooooo ready for not being pregnant ever again!!!! ;) But having two babies so young. I AM SO SCARED. Emma has starting becoming a mommie's girl and I am very worried when Cutie comes. Well never the less here comes Cutie. Plus, Cutie is still Cutie...... She has no name. Stacey and I are still having troubles finding a names we both like and agree on. Well we will see... My Emma is almost 9 months old. MY BABY! ugggggg.. Time has flown! :( But I really love having her this old bc she has so much personality! She is crawling.. well sorta. She swims basically. But she is getting around rather fast and really really growing up. I love it! I am so glad she is my little girl and I love being a mommy! :) Well its official! I HAVE A SEVEN YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am freaking about that still. When did I get old enough to have a 7 year old??? Noah is huge! He had a great birthday and I am so glad he did. He was so excited for this big day he hardly slept. Which is really funny bc I remember doing that when I was a kid. And the first of Septemember he will be in 2nd grade. YIKES! I am not sure if I am prepared for this. I mean in like one second my first baby will be in college! I am so proud of him and I am glad he is my awesome 7 yr old. He is an amazing lil guy and an amazing a HUGE helper and great big brother! I LOVE HIM! Well I guess that is it for now. My life is seriously crazy and I am adjusting very well. (I think) I will post more soon. Bc a lot of life is happening in a short time.

the last 7 months.... WOW

Well it has been almost 7 long months since I have posted anything on here. SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! Going from a mother of one 6 year old to having a 6 year old and a 7month old has been an adjustment to say the least. So what has happened? Well Noah just finished the first grade last week. I am so not ready for him to be in 2nd grade. I can still remember well my 2nd grade years and that is very bothersome that my son will be about to experience this new adventure. He will turn 7 next month and he is so excited!!! Its pretty cute. I can't believe that my baby boy is turning into a big boy right before my eyes. He is such and amazing little man. He helps out with Emma so much! He loves loves loves his sister. He wants to hold her, cuddle with her, make her bottles, play with her, and even change diapers. I cannot ask for a better son that what I have!!! ;) Emma is growing like a weed! She is almost 7months old and I cant believe she isn't as small as she once was. When she was born the doctor had a concern that she would have downs syndrome. Which devistated me. Not saying that I would love her less but I guess I was overwhelmed with the a guilty feeling that I did something wrong. But I came to an understanding with it and I know how amazing downs kids are and how special they are. I wouldn't have loved her any less.. After taking tests, 2 weeks later, the results came out normal. She has been a very cry baby and very hard. She also spit up a lot. So after some switching around with formulas I am proud to say she still fusses but nothing like she used to be. She is so happy!!! ;) She is also trying to crawl. She sits on her knees and swims. I feel soon she will be very mobile. HEAVEN HELP ME NOW! lol The new news that I have to tell everyone is that I am pregnant again. 23 weeks to be exact! YIKES! I know I know I know... I MUST BE OUT OF MY MIND! Well ready or not!?! I found out on May 17th that its a girl. So I will have 1 boy and 2 little girls.. SO ADORABLE!!!! She is due Sept 29, 2012. Emma and the new baby will be 11 months apart. HEAVEN PLEASE help me! I haven't decided onthe name yet. Although Noah did name her, Cutie. So that is how she is refered to as. I am scared out of my mind to be a mom again. I feel like I haven't had enough time with Emma. But God doesn't give us trials that we can't handle. So I am going to be ready for this! Noah is so excited and I know for a fact that he will be an amazing brother to this new addition!!! Well I will keep better updated on my blog. I know you are all dying to know what happens next bc my life is full of DRAMA. lol.. I am glad I am a mother and I love love love my kids. I cant think of a life before them or without them! Thank you for taking the adventure with me! I hope you have a great weekend! Until next time!!!